Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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