My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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