Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
