dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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