Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
