So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
