So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
