I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize