Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize