I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
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