I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
