If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
