it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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