don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
