I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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