covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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