what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
