I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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