I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
