just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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