In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
