also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
