Non-Jews are for practice
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
