New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize