Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
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let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
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My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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