They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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