You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
