the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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