I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
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ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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