Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
