God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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