what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this just has baby written all over it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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