She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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