don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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