she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
