so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
