no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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