i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize