Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
COCAINE IS GR8
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize