If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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