after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize