I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
