Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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