I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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