Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
