I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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