Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize