I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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