someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
