Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize