I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
