I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
