p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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