There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
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Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones