My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.