Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
