My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
