My friends, they love my intelligence
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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