So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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