so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
